in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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