I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
