i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
