hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
