i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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