whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize