I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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