You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
