My first STD was from a foam party
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
