I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
too bad you live with your parents still
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
