Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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