Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
