So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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