I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
