Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
