Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
