kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just had sex on a roof
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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