Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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