Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
