I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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