Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
