sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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