i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
