i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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