are you so shy because you have an std?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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