butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
