i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
