I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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