I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
