If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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