I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
