we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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