absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
