I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
