You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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