Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
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Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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