their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We have started to decorate penises.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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