i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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