You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize