Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
