You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
