I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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