Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
