I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
