He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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