I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
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I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
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My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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