He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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