I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize