So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
