where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
