I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
