my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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