in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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