you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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