Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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