Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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