just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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