what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
