bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
its liver damage thursday
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
