Me. At least after what I've been through.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
