Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
