You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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