is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
