He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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