a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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