Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
