I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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